He texted "hey" after 9 days. You hated how fast you replied.
You hated the relief. Hated how your chest unclenched at three little letters from a man who couldn't be bothered to write a full sentence.
You'd checked your phone a hundred times. Googled "why do guys go cold" at 2am. And now he's back—no explanation—and somehow YOU'RE the one figuring out what to say.
You're not stupid. You give your friends advice about this exact situation. You'd never tell them to wait around for a man who takes 9 days to send three letters.
But here you are. Drafting your fourth reply. Spiraling.
I know why he has that power over you.
Not because I studied it.
Because I used to be him.
I was the guy who texted "hey" after a week of silence. Who said "let's hang out soon" and never made plans. Who gave you just enough attention to keep you interested but never enough to feel safe.
I wasn't confused. I wasn't "scared of my feelings."
I kept doing it because it worked.
Then I met a woman who didn't play along. When I went quiet, she didn't chase. Didn't double-text. Didn't panic.
I couldn't stop thinking about her. And I spent six years figuring out why.
1,000 men told me what they'd never tell you.
I sat across from them and heard exactly what goes through their heads. Why they pull away. Why they come back. What makes them commit to one woman and disappear on another.
I've coached over 50,000 women through the exact situations you're in right now.
And I found something that changed everything:
The patterns are identical. Every time.
Every woman thinks her situation is different. That her guy is more complicated.
He's not. It's not.
The psychology underneath is always the same. Once you see the patterns, you can't unsee them. And the confusion just... stops.
It was never about what you said.
It wasn't texting too fast. Being "too available." Not playing it cool enough.
The outcome was decided before you sent that text you've been agonizing over.
You were never the problem. You just couldn't see what was actually happening.
Three things that change after you read this.
One: You stop checking your phone.
Not from willpower—because the anxiety that made you check won't be there anymore. When you understand what his silence actually means, there's nothing left to obsess over.
Two: You know what to say.
In 30 seconds instead of spiraling for an hour. You'll understand what your words actually communicate underneath—what pulls him closer and what pushes him away.
Three: You stop wasting months.
You'll see it in week one. Sometimes the first conversation. And you'll walk away clean—without the endless "what ifs."
You were never bad at this.
You were just missing information.
I spent six years doing the research you don't have time to do. Psychology. Patterns. Thousands of conversations with men who told me things they'd never say out loud to you.
I put everything in one book. Clear. Simple. Specific.
-
The psychology decoded: Why his inconsistency makes you more attached, not less—and the single shift that breaks the cycle
-
Word-for-word scripts: Exactly what to say when he goes cold, cancels, breadcrumbs you, or resurfaces after disappearing
-
The early warning signs: How to know in week one if he's serious—so you stop wasting months on men who were never going to show up
I already did the work. Let me hand it to you.
Get The Book →What's Inside
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him
3 chapters on the psychology of attraction—and why his hot-and-cold behavior feels impossible to shake.
Get the Book →- Why his inconsistency makes you MORE attached instead of less—and the exact brain mechanism that keeps you hooked
- Why you're not actually attached to him—you're attached to the cycle of anticipation, absence, and relief
- The one rule that stops the chase instantly—before you say a single word to him
What Talking Is Actually For
3 chapters that dismantle everything you've been taught about "communication" in dating.
Get the Book →- Why "saying the right thing" has never worked—and what actually creates forward movement
- The difference between creating connection and giving away your position (they sound identical—the energy underneath is not)
- When your words pull him closer vs push him away—and how to tell before you hit send
Early Dating That Sorts Fast
Practical frameworks for the first conversations, first dates, and texts that reveal what you're dealing with—before you're in too deep.
Get the Book →- How to know if he's serious before you're emotionally invested
- The difference between interest and availability—and why chemistry means nothing without capacity
- How to respond so his effort becomes impossible to miss (or his absence becomes impossible to ignore)
The Scripts
Word-for-word responses for the situations that make you spiral at 2am.
Get the Book →- What to say when he cancels last minute (without looking desperate or bitter)
- What to say when he suddenly goes cold after things were going well
- What to say when he breadcrumbs you, texts late at night, or wants constant texting with no plans
- What to say when you need to walk away—and actually mean it
50,000+ Women Can't Be Wrong
Here's what readers are saying about the book
Miroslava Feria
Mexico
Love This Book
I was dating a guy who didn't want a relationship with me, now I understand it wasn't my fault. Now, I am able to see all the signals and finally enjoying dating. Thank you so much!
Catalina
Bulgaria
I Loved the Book
I loved the book, particularly the case studies and the message examples. I thought those were a really nice addition to everything else! I love your content Joao as well, keep it up
Adora Riestra
Mexico
Game Changing Book
It's so revealing and honestly written, it gives you a lot to think about dating men, it changes your perspective about how you approach them and how you feel about yourself. A game changer for women.
Angela
United States
Perfect & So Very Helpful
Joao not only provides text examples of what to say, he reassures that we are the ones doing the choosing - empowering us as daters. Great book and would recommend to everyone!
Alex
United States
The Book Was Amazing
I learned a lot when you talked about vulnerability and how it's not easy for men to open up and show their emotions in the same way women do. It taught me that men and women are different.
Liri
United States
One of My Favorite Reads
Joao, you f**king genius!!! Your book has me hooked. There are so many "aha" moments and things clicking. I feel more secure and confident when speaking to guys and dating!
Anonymous
DM to Joao
"I can't thank you enough"
I used the open ended question you gave me and he instantly stopped being dry. Right now I'm at his place and we're baking cookies 😍 I can't thank you enough
Anna
26, United States
"A powerful psychological tool"
I'm only halfway through your book and I've already written down 3/4 of my notebook. You gave us such a powerful psychological tool that I'm shocked myself 😭❤️ Now so many things are so easy and clear to understand.
Alyssa Santos
30, Colorado
"The texting examples in Chapter 9"
I'm enjoying the book so far. It was slow to get into at the beginning, but once I got to chapter 7 it got really good. I particularly like the texting examples in Chapter 9.
Christella
Email to Joao
"A must read for all women"
I read the entire book the first day I bought it and it's an eye opener. There are several things I read that I have done but knowing now I won't be making those mistakes anymore. This book is a must read for all women.
Liridona Jashari
Email to Joao
"Words aren't enough"
Words aren't enough to convey how powerful and raw the book is. My mindset has shifted since reading. Both Joao's books will forever change the dating scene for us women; the books are record breakers.
Cristina Sanchez
Email to Joao
"I feel in control"
I already tested out many of the things you suggested and I feel in control of the situation. He has not pushed back anymore and is actually making time for me. Now he is the one talking about the next time we will meet.
Noor Afiza
Email to Joao
"Really helpful for my relationship"
Great book. Really helpful for my 'wreck' relationship. It works for some technique like scarcity the most. Thank you by the way.
Iordan Camelia
Italy
Nice One!
The book is cool! I'm really happy I purchased it. Totally recommend! Thank you 🌻
Angela Poels
Netherlands
By Far One of My Favorites
Your book has me completely captivated, I couldn't put it down. There are so many 'aha' moments. You've given us such a powerful tool. Easy and clear to understand. Thank you Joao!
Albane Guelorget
Mexico
Interesting!
I loved the content, it's simple and a great reminder. Had an issue receiving the book at first, but they responded quickly on both email and Instagram. Great support!
Deniz Turkistan
Belgium
Masterpiece!
Every step Joao described happened: love bombing, ghosting, coming back. When I finally understood it, everything became clear. Even my therapist called it a masterpiece.
Anna
Sweden
Can't Wait to Start! 😊
After emailing Joao, he not only sent me the book, he gave me extra material to work with! Great customer service. Thanks Joao 🤗
Kat
Poland
Great Guide
Explains everything in simple words and clarifies how men think. For me, coming out of a long-term relationship, it's the perfect introduction to today's dating world.
Stefanija Sokolovic
Macedonia
Masterpiece
A psychological masterpiece that exceeded all my expectations. It helped me recognize patterns I was unknowingly repeating. This book didn't just answer my questions - it changed the way I think.
Anonymous
DM to Joao
"Already mind-blowing"
I just bought your book, I'm in chapter 6 and it's already been mind-blowing. Thank you so much.
Miroslava Feria
Mexico
Love This Book
I was dating a guy who didn't want a relationship with me, now I understand it wasn't my fault. Now, I am able to see all the signals and finally enjoying dating. Thank you so much!
Catalina
Bulgaria
I Loved the Book
I loved the book, particularly the case studies and the message examples. I thought those were a really nice addition to everything else! I love your content Joao as well, keep it up
Adora Riestra
Mexico
Game Changing Book
It's so revealing and honestly written, it gives you a lot to think about dating men, it changes your perspective about how you approach them and how you feel about yourself. A game changer for women.
Angela
United States
Perfect & So Very Helpful
Joao not only provides text examples of what to say, he reassures that we are the ones doing the choosing - empowering us as daters. Great book and would recommend to everyone!
Alex
United States
The Book Was Amazing
I learned a lot when you talked about vulnerability and how it's not easy for men to open up and show their emotions in the same way women do. It taught me that men and women are different.
Liri
United States
One of My Favorite Reads
Joao, you f**king genius!!! Your book has me hooked. There are so many "aha" moments and things clicking. I feel more secure and confident when speaking to guys and dating!
Anonymous
DM to Joao
"I can't thank you enough"
I used the open ended question you gave me and he instantly stopped being dry. Right now I'm at his place and we're baking cookies 😍 I can't thank you enough
Anna
26, United States
"A powerful psychological tool"
I'm only halfway through your book and I've already written down 3/4 of my notebook. You gave us such a powerful psychological tool that I'm shocked myself 😭❤️ Now so many things are so easy and clear to understand.
Alyssa Santos
30, Colorado
"The texting examples in Chapter 9"
I'm enjoying the book so far. It was slow to get into at the beginning, but once I got to chapter 7 it got really good. I particularly like the texting examples in Chapter 9.
Christella
Email to Joao
"A must read for all women"
I read the entire book the first day I bought it and it's an eye opener. There are several things I read that I have done but knowing now I won't be making those mistakes anymore. This book is a must read for all women.
Liridona Jashari
Email to Joao
"Words aren't enough"
Words aren't enough to convey how powerful and raw the book is. My mindset has shifted since reading. Both Joao's books will forever change the dating scene for us women; the books are record breakers.
Cristina Sanchez
Email to Joao
"I feel in control"
I already tested out many of the things you suggested and I feel in control of the situation. He has not pushed back anymore and is actually making time for me. Now he is the one talking about the next time we will meet.
Noor Afiza
Email to Joao
"Really helpful for my relationship"
Great book. Really helpful for my 'wreck' relationship. It works for some technique like scarcity the most. Thank you by the way.
Iordan Camelia
Italy
Nice One!
The book is cool! I'm really happy I purchased it. Totally recommend! Thank you 🌻
Angela Poels
Netherlands
By Far One of My Favorites
Your book has me completely captivated, I couldn't put it down. There are so many 'aha' moments. You've given us such a powerful tool. Easy and clear to understand. Thank you Joao!
Albane Guelorget
Mexico
Interesting!
I loved the content, it's simple and a great reminder. Had an issue receiving the book at first, but they responded quickly on both email and Instagram. Great support!
Deniz Turkistan
Belgium
Masterpiece!
Every step Joao described happened: love bombing, ghosting, coming back. When I finally understood it, everything became clear. Even my therapist called it a masterpiece.
Anna
Sweden
Can't Wait to Start! 😊
After emailing Joao, he not only sent me the book, he gave me extra material to work with! Great customer service. Thanks Joao 🤗
Kat
Poland
Great Guide
Explains everything in simple words and clarifies how men think. For me, coming out of a long-term relationship, it's the perfect introduction to today's dating world.
Stefanija Sokolovic
Macedonia
Masterpiece
A psychological masterpiece that exceeded all my expectations. It helped me recognize patterns I was unknowingly repeating. This book didn't just answer my questions - it changed the way I think.
Anonymous
DM to Joao
"Already mind-blowing"
I just bought your book, I'm in chapter 6 and it's already been mind-blowing. Thank you so much.
I Used to Be Exactly Like Him.
Six years ago, I was the guy your friends warned you about.
I ran hot and cold. I kept women guessing. I said things like "let's hang soon" and never followed up. I liked the attention without wanting the commitment. I was emotionally unavailable and completely unaware of the damage I was doing.
Then I met a woman who changed everything.
She didn't chase me. She didn't double text. She didn't ask "what are we" or try to have deep conversations to "figure things out." She didn't do any of the things I was used to women doing.
She did less. And it made me lose my mind.
For the first time in my life, I was the one checking my phone. I was the one overthinking. I was the one wondering if she was losing interest. The tables had completely flipped, and I had no idea how she did it.
That obsession sent me down a six-year rabbit hole into the psychology of attraction, attachment, and communication between men and women. I needed to understand what she knew that I didn't.
What I found changed my life. And now I've spent the last six years teaching it to women.
I've coached over 50,000 women one-on-one. I've surveyed over 100,000. I've heard every story, every situation, every "but my guy is different." I've seen the same patterns play out thousands of times. And I've watched women go from confused and anxious to grounded and clear in a matter of weeks.
Here's why I think I can help you in a way other coaches can't:
I'm not guessing what men think. I know. Because I was one of them. I played the games. I sent the mixed signals. I know exactly what's going through his head when he takes 8 hours to text back, when he says he's "not ready for anything serious," when he pulls away right after things get close.
I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear. I'm going to tell you what's actually happening. And more importantly, I'm going to show you what to do about it.
This book isn't about manipulation. It's not about playing games or pretending to be someone you're not. It's about understanding how men actually think so you can stop wasting time on the wrong ones and finally connect with the right one.
See you on the other side,
Joao
Austin, TX
"You've spent enough time wondering what he's thinking. It's time to finally know."
Get the Book →This Book Comes With A 365-Day Satisfaction Promise.
And I'm putting my money where my mouth is.
If there's still a voice in the back of your head wondering if this is really for you, let me make this easy.
I've watched this material work for over 50,000 women. I'm not worried about refunds. But I know you've probably been burned before by things that promised "the secret" and delivered nothing.
And I also know you probably wouldn't buy a house just by looking at it from the outside. You need to take a look inside.
And if you're already ready, here's my promise:
No questions. No guilt. No hoops. Email [email protected] anytime in the next year and it's done.
Frequently Asked Questions
No. Manipulation is getting someone to act against their own interest. This is the opposite.
This book helps you see men clearly so you stop investing in the wrong ones. You're not learning tricks. You're learning to recognize when someone's wasting your time before you're in too deep.
Honestly? Yes, at first. I talk about this in the book.
The texts will feel too short, too direct, maybe even cold. That discomfort is the point. It means you're doing something different than what's been keeping you stuck. But they're not scripts you recite word-for-word. I explain the thinking behind each one so you can make it yours.
I've coached 50,000 women. The situations change. The patterns don't.
The book doesn't just give you lines to copy. It teaches you why certain responses work and others backfire. Once you understand that, you can handle anything that comes up, even the weird stuff I couldn't have predicted.
Yes. A lot of women reading this are married or in long-term relationships.
If you're feeling like you give more than you get, like you're managing his emotions while yours get ignored, like you have to tiptoe around things to keep the peace... the dynamics in this book will help. The length of the relationship doesn't change how men respond to these patterns.
Because I've been the guy you're trying to figure out.
I ran hot and cold. I breadcrumbed. I said "I'm not ready for anything serious" while absolutely being ready for the right woman. I know what's actually going on in his head because I lived it. I'm not guessing. I'm not theorizing. I'm telling you what I know firsthand.
Right now. It's a digital book. You'll get it immediately after checkout and can read it on your phone, tablet, or computer.
Some women message me the same day. "I sent that text and he called me within an hour." Others take longer because the shift is internal first.
But understanding starts immediately. You'll read something in Chapter 1 and think "oh my god, that's exactly what's been happening." That clarity alone changes how you show up.
Yes. All payments are processed by trusted, PCI-compliant providers and protected with 256-bit encryption. We never store your full card details on our servers.
You have 365 days to decide. A full year.
If you read it and feel like it wasn't worth it, email [email protected] and you'll get a refund. No questions. No guilt. No hoops.
Most dating advice tells you to do more. Communicate more. Be more vulnerable. Try harder. Put in more effort.
This book is about doing less. Saying less. Chasing less. Filling fewer silences. And watching what he does when you stop making it so easy for him. That's where you'll finally get your answer.
Email [email protected]. We actually reply.
Not sure if this book is for you?
Read a chapter free. No email required. See exactly what you're getting.
Individual Results May Vary: The testimonials and examples used in our marketing materials are exceptional results and are not intended to guarantee, promise, represent and/or assure that anyone will achieve the same or similar results.
Not Professional Advice: The information provided in Talking To Men is for general informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended as, and shall not be understood or construed as, professional counseling, therapy, medical, or legal advice.
No Guarantee of Results: While we believe in the methods and strategies presented in our program, we cannot guarantee any specific outcome or result. Success in relationships and personal development depends on many factors, including individual effort, dedication, and circumstances beyond our control.
Assumption of Risk: By purchasing Talking To Men, you acknowledge that you are participating voluntarily in using our products and services and that you are solely and personally responsible for your choices, actions, and results.
No Replacement for Professional Help: Our program is not a substitute for professional mental health services, therapy, or medical treatment. If you are experiencing serious issues in your relationships or personal life, we strongly recommend seeking help from qualified professionals.
Accuracy of Information: While we strive to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information in our program, we make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability, or availability of the information contained in the program.
Third-Party Links: Our program may contain links to third-party websites or resources. We are not responsible for the content, accuracy, or practices of these external sites.
Refund Policy: Please email us at [email protected] for fastest replies regarding your refunds.
Changes to Program: We reserve the right to modify, suspend, or discontinue any part of the program.
By purchasing or using Talking To Men, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to this disclaimer.